Check this out.

We’ve been bringing our own Tervis Tumblers to beach bars and restaurants for the past 5 years, trying to encourage friends to do the same (with, of course, little result since most people here are so clueless).

Maybe, just maybe, now more people will start to be part of the “I Get It!” club.

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox
Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and
cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a U.S. man
and posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have
learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle,
for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to
be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of
God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that
this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I
own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I
tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him
myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there “degrees” of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God, if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How
should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football, if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we
just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14).

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable
expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian.)

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

I had never seen anything like it. So I stopped, and there was a man sitting on his porch, so I said, “Good evening and what amazing flowers you have!” And, of course (since this is Saba and everyone is happy and friendly), he told me where he had gotten them and that he had forgotten what they were called.

He went on about what they need to propagate, which isn’t much because here, the soil is so fertile and there is constant moisture as we’re frequently in the clouds. But whatever he did, it worked, because he had a row of them above the wall by the road.

His house is on the high side of The Road between Hell’s Gate and Windwardside.

I introduced myself after he asked if I was a tourist, and found out that his name is Alfredo Hassell.

He found an extra bulb and graciously gave it to me to plant in a pot, making sure to tell me that it wouldn’t flower if kept in air conditioning.

My first Saba plant!

Its common name is African Blood Lily, but I think I’ll call it  Alfredo!

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

We will not own a vehicle on Saba, since everything we care about is in walking distance and hitching a ride is an acceptable and safe way to get around.

So, to be sure the dogs and cats on St. Croix are properly cared for until we can buy a house on Saba and bring them there, we need a few extra dollars for their food, lodging and regular meds (like heartworm prevention, arthritis meds, etc.).

Know of anyone who wants to take advantage of a great deal? Both rovers, plus a twenty foot container full of spare parts for only $13k.

Call Michael at 340-773-6174 for details or email ambrosia@massagestcroix.com.

Hurry before the world ends tonight or in the coming weeks!

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

Seriously, this is TOTALLY Big Brother watching us, kids.

I have started doing stuff on tripadvisor  (which I also hate by the way, since they would not let us have a page when we were on St. Croix), and they AUTOMATICALLY got my profile pic from FB without my doing anything….

It’s Way Too Scary for me. After Michael gets here and can deal with it, I’m divorcing both TA and FB……

UGH!!!

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

Usually, they fall way behind as far as I’m concerned. They generally spotlight places that are on the beaten to death path. Although I must say that we found out about the most incredible place on St. Vincent because of CT&L .

Anyway, in the most recent issue, they discuss the best Caribbean beaches for snorkeling.

And, one of our favorites – Cane Bay, St. Croix, USVI is number TWO on their list!!

I LIKE!!!

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

We will miss them all, but we’ve got to move on. Business on Saba will probably be slower than on St. Croix, but our bills won’t be as high, so it should work for us.

For a mere $10k, an energetic massage therapist or two could take over this successful endeavor on this beautiful island. Our web presence is strong, we have a 13 year reputation, regular clientele and name recognition.

Interested parties should contact us either at ambrosia@massagestcroix.com or Sabas.Spa@gmail.com.

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

Most readers of this blog know how I feel about  religion (christianity and catholocism mostly – but if I knew more about islam I might be able to pinpoint specific hypocritical issues there, too), so this year’s calendar presents food for thought.

Yes, “Earth Day” is a man-made “holiday” – although we don’t usually get a paid day off or anything because of it – but the concept of a day to remember and celebrate the entity that I know for certain sustains me EVERY DAY during my entire life is so much more meaningful to me than any of the hallmark or religious ones.

Mother’s Day – well, my mother’s dead, so why should it be a big deal for me. And even when she was alive, she had finished taking care of me when I was 18 and I got married, so, whatever. Same for Father’s Day except my father’s not quite dead yet. But he has no influence on my life anymore, so, whatever. Hallmark and religious holidays make me want to barf.

“Christmas” and “Easter” – Hmmm….someone said some major event happened on those days….and….this is important because….oh yeah …. days off from work!!

When we are children, we look forward to the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus coming. Not only do we get days off from school, but we get presents! It super-duper extra special!

So all of that positive reinforcement forces us even as we (supposedly) mature to continue to BUY STUFF around those special days to keep the economy going. Oh, did I really say that?

They are the “Anti-Earth Days”.

Yes, it’s time to bring Annie back.

Didn’t you see that coming?

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

But I digress….Friday as I walked along the Crispeen Track, I came upon a white rabbit. He was a little flustered by my appearance and kept hopping up the steps as I climbed. He was not going to get away, though, because I was going in that direction. Finally he stopped hopping and let me pass. I was going to start calling this one “The Bunny Trail”, but yesterday, I started up the steps on my way home from The Bottom, and I saw a small black animal lying on a step ahead of me. Behind him or her was a mother goat and a standing baby with umbilical cord still attached. I noticed wetness on the trail and finally saw the placenta from this mommy’s very recent delivery of twins. I could not possibly make her run from me and leave her babies, or cause them to try to run when they were barely able to stand at this point, so I turned around, went down the steps to The Road, and walked on concrete all the way back. No longer can I call it “The Bunny Trail”  unless I add something about newborn black kids and placenta.

Here’s a description of the famous trail from saba-island.org:

“Further up the mountain, the delightful Crispeen Track cuts off to the west, passing through pastureland and farming plots before reaching the isolated Mountain Cottage, from where another lovely walk (Bod’s Mountain Track) heads off to the right and then sharply right again to lead up the southwestern side of Mount Scenery.  Alternatively, continue ahead at Mountain Cottage and follow the track down through a steep valley, flanked by abundant rainforest for about twenty minutes and you’ll reach the deserted hamlet of Crispeen. The place was originally named for St Crispin – the patron saint of shoemakers; Dominican priest Père Labat, who visited Saba in 1701, wrote that “the Sabans ply trade in no other business except shoemaking”.  Beyond Crispeen the track descends along a rather less interesting stone path down to The Bottom, from where it’s easy to hitch a ride back to Windwardside.”

The walk along The Road was still a beautiful stroll with the deep blue sea and the verdant Mt. Scenery visible at all times. Not to mention the picturesque Saban cottages along the way. Just, instead of watching out for mossy rocks, you’re checking around the winding curves for cars. At one point, a car was going down a little too fast and didn’t see a truck coming up around a curve, and he had to screech on his brakes. There had just been two human children playing on the roadside there, too.

It could have been a disaster if he hadn’t stopped soon enough. The rest of the walk home was uneventful. But I had accomplished my mission at The Bottom, and had my “crib number” – the taxpayer ID number – another step toward being able to open a local bank account.

Life is GOOD!!

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.

The cottage comes equipped with NO coffee maker (for $1200 a month – WTF?), so I heated water for sanka. Yes, I travel with instant sanka- just in case! There is not even a teapot or a corkscrew in this rental…..very sad indeed. And I boil water every morning anyway, to have it cool for drinking later. We’re not sure about the filtration – and there really is a funny taste to the cistern water here.

Wasn’t hungry for breakfast yet and wanted to get started on my day – it being Friday and hoping that the governmental agencies would have our license prepared. Hah! Despite the fact that the Island Secretary has been attending to official business in the Netherlands for almost two weeks and our application had been approved before he left, none of his subordinates have been able to actually create a piece of paper declaring our licensure. Go figure!

Before I actually travelled down to The Bottom to check on said license, I walked up to our extra Booby Hill apartment to open it up and get things together to move down to our actual business location – Pete’s Cottage in the village of Windwardside. After I gathered up massage table, massage oils and other essentials (we had left butter and jelly in the fridge and pasta and canned soup in the cupboards – not to mention 4 rolls of toilet paper which the rented Green Gates apartment came totally without!), I called Donna (our beloved taxi driver), who lives across the street from the building to pick me and the stuff up, bring us down the hill to Pete’s and wait for me while I shoved stuff into the fridge before heading down to (hopefully) speak once again to the Island Secretary. We had met him on our last trip in March to discuss our business proposal.

I actually called form the airport in St. Martin on Thursday to try to schedule an appointment on Friday, but could not get through to his office. I tried again on Friday morning – again to no avail.

I arrived in proper attire (no bare shoulders – having learned from years on St. Croix), and was told that he was in a meeting, having just returned from the Netherlands and all.

The ladies in the reception area of the government building informed me of his busy-ness, so I asked to see his secretary. When they called her office, they were told to inform me that she already had someone in her office and was not available. They advised me to come back sometime in the afternoon before 4:30pm. It was 9 am, and there was no way I was going to make my way back up to Windwardside only to return later in the day. I already had a 4pm appointment booked

So I walked around a bit and eventually stopped for a cappuccino and a croissant at the wonderful Saba Coffee House. Nick was as helpful as usual, and I asked him about the propriety of actually starting to do business even without license in hand, but with “verbal” approval. He said that he was able to start up with “approval” without actual paper in hand, since that took an extra couple of weeks. Great news for me, but just in case, I decided to go back to the government building to check with the Island Secretary’s secretary. I took all of 120 seconds of her time asking her to inquire about the appropriateness of my doing business with only “approval” but not license in hand. She said she’d let me know. I wasn’t going to hold my breath.

At least I did get something accomplished down there, since, during my walk, I stopped by the Satel (Saba Telephone) office to ask how to use my local cell phone. Shelly was wonderfully helpful and I’m sure we’ll become island friends because of this.

Terry Chretien is the owner of Ambrosia Body Care, providing out-call massage and spa services on St. Croix. She rescues homeless dogs and cats who reside with her and become the four-legged hosts of SunDog House, a St. Croix sustainable vacation rental villa.