Well, it’s almost overwhelming. I’ve always said to myself as a scientific-type, “Death is part of life”. And I guess that’s because when I was growing up, so many of my relatives would die. I went to a lot of wakes and funerals in RI.

They were my relatives and I’d miss them (some more than others), “but it’s just the process”, I’d say to myself. It’s been this way, and it will be this way. Death follows life. And then you can get into the metaphysical or not. The people who have had a physical presence with all their “stuff” around you, take it into some other realm.

At one time, I think I had a collage of photos on my fridge or somewhere, of deceased relatives and friends both two and four-legged. I called it “dead guy shots”. Bizarre, macabre, call it what you like. I’ve lost many people (and dogs and cats are people,too) close to me over the years, and after a while, you’d think it would get easier. But it doesn’t. We can pretend it does. But I still occasionally find myself weeping and feeling guilty about things I could have done better in my relationship with whomever (especially when it comes to four-legged family members).

In the past couple of weeks, we have lost yet more family members (of the two-legged variety). Terry Wright passed away two weeks ago from cancer. We met Terry when we moved here. He was the husband of Heidi Dickerson Wright, one of the sisters who founded the Pointe Dance Academy here on St. Croix. Every December, Terry would don top hat and tails to grace the stage with his rendition of Herr Drosselmyer (sp?) in the Nutcracker Suite Ballet. We missed him this past year, however, as he and Heidi were in England trying to get medical assistance from his home country where there is socialized medicine. But they decided, since his disease was so advanced, that he’d be better off coming home to St. Croix where he would live out his final days peacefully on this beautiful island surrounded by family rather than in an unfamiliar medical situation overseas. I believe his last words to Heidi were, “Get me my top hat and cane, Darling”, as he slipped off onto a new stage….

Nolan Joseph, well-known restauranteur (owner of Nolan’s Tavern) and brother of our neighbor, Roy Joseph (of Roy’s Catering) also passed this week. The Pickled Greek will open next week where Nolan’s Tavern last was, across from the Pearl B. Larsen School. Nolan was an avid supporter of Peter, the Greek in his work toward resurrecting this spot as a gathering place for locals and visitors alike.

Nolan was a fixture on a special barstool overseeing the continuing work. Peter had been hoping, throughout the process, that Nolan would be on hand (since he lived right next door) to prepared special requests for some of his special dishes. But Nolan has gone on to bigger things, with just days to go before the opening of the Pickled Greek. He will also be sorely missed.

I did not know these two, but one lost this week was a friend of my daughter’s. Another Terry she’d met through SOAR. This woman died in a house fire in FL. Her physical disabilities suffered in a domestic abuse situation may have prevented her escape from the flames that engulfed her home.

David Cover, a familiar St. Croix radio talk-show caller and community activist has gone on as well.

There are many others I am missing in this post. The hundreds of thousands in Myanmar and the tens of thousands in China who have perished recently. I’m not sure anymore if my “death is a part of life” rationalizations are nearly as comforting as they were when I was younger.

Maybe it’s the realization of my own mortality as I get to the age where my peers are starting to drop, or maybe it’s because I know that many of my older dogs will be dying in the near future. Although I try to prepare myself for losing them, I often hug them and sit with them, but stand up every time with tears in my eyes or a lump in my throat. It is hard to imagine life without them. That unconditional love.

And then there are the ones who leave unexpectedly, which is why I try to appreciate those around me as often as possible….

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 17th, 2008 at 4:03 pm and is filed under St. Croix, Terry Talk. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.