Facebook Freaks Me Out
So deal with it.
I absolutely REFUSED to get involved with Facebook. I have enough to do.
BUT, I was nosey about something in an “I’m trying to be helpful” kind of way, and I signed up. And only gave absolutely rudimentary information. No picture or elaborate description about myself and my life. If someone wants that, they’ll have to work harder for it.
So ugh! Now I’m getting “______ has added you to his/her friend list” notices in my e-mail box from High School and College friends. What a mistake that was!
How and why have these people suddenly decided to “reach out”? It scares me for many reasons.
First of all: There’s a really good reason I live here in St. Croix, USVI. If I’d wanted to be involved with all the people I knew in High School and College, I’d have stayed there in America and kept in touch. I feel that I have so little in common with anyone from my past that being in contact would just either piss me off or depress me. Sort of like when I speak to my father on the phone. If I want to be “in touch” with someone, I want to be able to see and touch him/her. If someone wants my attention, s/he needs to come visit. Period.
I have enough to do and enough people here, on St. Croix to admire, sympathize with and just generally give my precious energy to, that adding baggage from the past is neither necessary nor desired.
My life is full enough. I don’t need to go to reunions (I’d rather have a root canal) and Michael had to drag me kicking and screaming to one of his family’s regular “reunions” last year. It was scary enough. Thank dog I did not get an invitation to what would have been my 30th(!!) high school reunion!
I wonder about how needy others are, that they wait like vultures for someone whose name they recognize to come up. I’ve felt like I’m being pounced on. Too weird for me!
When I graduated from High School, it was like cutting a stifling umbilical cord. Although I had some great friends there and I loved school, there was a whole new world waiting for me. And I didn’t need the baggage. I remember one of my friends just sobbing pitifully.
But I was done with that stage of my life. On to the next one! C’mon let’s get going!
May 12th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I am with you on that whole Facebook thing. I refuse to sign up, I don’t need more advertisers, and “pests” bothering me. To me, it is just another avenue for the vultures on the internet to find me. I also don’t really want folks from my past whom I left in the dust to “re-connect.” Enough already!
May 12th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Well said, Trudi!
May 12th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
I mainly use facebook to stay in touch with my current friends. A comment here…a picture there…it is less formal than a blog.
Facebook does take away from my time throwing cards in a hat and I miss that precious card throwing time.
Really I spent 1 minute a day there.
May 12th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
I have a label that I archive those e-mails under. Just in case one day I might need to contact them…
This is one of the only blogs I visit, too much time on the computer(s) with my fingers tapping already! First the Source, then the NYTimes. I know I have ergo-damage!
al t h o—a very old friend sent a link to his film of our high school gang and it was kinda mind-blowing—on YouTube no less !
Supposedly the new “Must Have” for job hunting is a presence on the web, resumes are passe.
May 13th, 2009 at 8:38 am
I enjoy Facebook, it is another social tool for me, since I don’t go out much these days (by choice). I guess though that I am from the technology, generation, or at least on the cusp (I still don’t own an iPod). I enjoy being in touch with old friends and people from different parts of my life, of course I haven’t had as many different chapters in my life as you yet. Seeing what my RI friends are up to makes me appreciate my life and experiences here on St. Croix even more, and recognize the gifts that the island life has given me. I know that I would probably be just like a lot of those people had I remained in RI, and I am damn glad that I had the chance to grow up and blossom in an incredible place like this. It has opened my eyes to so many things.
I think it is amazing that I re-connected with Sherrie Guilbert and was able to meet up with her again after 25 years, and to help her on her personal journey, and how cool that I will likely see one of my childhood best friends this year, who has been living on St. John for the past 5 years!? Like anything else, I think FB is all about what you make it, and how you use it.
Off on a tangent. Yes! I am justifying my Facebook habit! Is there a 12-step program for FB addicts yet?
May 13th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I had to chuckle when I read your comment:
“My life is full enough. I don’t need to go to reunions (I’d rather have a root canal) and Michael had to drag me kicking and screaming to one of his family’s regular “reunions” last year. It was scary enough”
Being an actor, it reminded me of a line from “My Fair Lady”, where Henry Higgins musically proclaims:
“I’d be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling than to ever let a woman in my life!”
I’m 56 years old, and I use both MySpace and Facebook.
I have some 250 Facebook “friends”.
Some are professional, some are amateur actors, some are co-workers, some are fellow Scout leaders I’ve met at one time or another, and a very few are old high school and college friends.
I might spend 15 minutes per day MAXIMUM keeping up to date with what other people think is important enough in THEIR lives to post online, and frequently it relates to events and activities I’m interested in so it’s not just idle gossip.
For instance, a friend might post something like “Looking forward to auditions for ‘Little Shop of Horrors”, something that I’m interested in. Or I might search Facebook for people who are interested in things that I am. Several months ago I searched for “St. Croix”, came up with “Cottages by the Sea” and ended up staying there.
Social networking sites like MySpace, Facebook, Linkedin, and others have their advantages and disadvantages.
Perhaps because I’m a social person, and have had Facebook and MySpace accounts since no long after there WERE Facebook and MySpace, I’m comfortable with the experience and I find the positives FAR exceed the negatives.
May 13th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Yes, Gary, I am sure it all boils down to knowing how to use the site. My big concern is how the site invites “unwanted guests” like spam and so called “business opportunities” into my space. Can you address that fear of mine, or is it un-warranted? I have enough trouble keeping those pests off my business phone, let alone on an internet site.
May 13th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I still think it’s mostly for wanna be’s who like to google themselves and see their name next to “soap opera star du jour.”
May 16th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Terry,
Idea for blogger’s block.
You are a unique observer of people and situations.
When “blocked”, think over the people you observed and or interacted with recently.
Then, blog a novel type description of them as you observed them. Like they are charactors in your novel of your life. Make up a name that you think fits them, then become author and describe them in your own unique style.
Loving STX, I enjoy your blog. It keeps me in touch with a special part of my life. It keeps me connected.
When there, I enjoy observing all the individual charcters that one meets each day.
You write a great description of places, situations, current events, try adding more of the true charcters that make STX such an interesting place.
See you in Jan.
May 17th, 2009 at 12:02 am
I see your response above annd have waited to hear from you …..guess you don’t want to….too bad! I miss you sometimes!
May 17th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Hey Tom. Thanks for reading and thanks for the tips. I’m actually saving my stories for my novel. Blogging is getting old because it isn’t bringing in any bucks. And business is slow and we’re spending a lot on home maintenance, so my energy is going into a book now. Blogging will be sporadic also because there’ll be men crawling all over the house painting ceilings and fixing broken tiles, etc.
Well, there you are, Wayne. It is great to hear from you after all these years! If you’d like to keep in touch vi e-mail that’s fine. I don’t like the idea of facebook, as you’ve read. And if people want to know what I’ve been doing they can check the blog. Takes a little more work than going to facebook, but I’m worth the effort.
May 17th, 2009 at 10:28 am
DEFINITELY!!
May 17th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Thanks, Lisa
!
May 17th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I think that Facebook should make it clearer that when they send out those “so & so has added you to their friends” emails that YOU do in fact have the last say. You can accept or ignore any request and they will never be notified. Even once you agree to a friend you can easily remove them at any time.
Only your accepted friends can see your information so you control the audience (unlike a blog). I understand you may not wish to reconnect with school mates but you’d be surprised how many STX residents and organizations are on Facebook. As someone who is only on island part time I personally find a great way to keep in touch.